It may be the migraine talking, but...

I hate my fucking life. 

Today was tough. Mom is pretty much helpless, and I was having the fibro flare from hell. IDK. What the fuck am I to do with my life. I am trying to exist outside of the fucking circle of hell I let myself be guilted into. I love my mom but this is getting really tough. I am not a nurse. It feels like I am drowning in here and i see no real light at the end of the tunnel. Doc's want me to go to counceling.. I just cannot help but think this will just be a hassle. 

There is a man named James that moved to town to run the family dollar. I immediately felt a draw when I saw him, but then again, he is a nice looking man..he has a 17 year old and a seven year old as well. I just see men like that and know that they want nothing to do with me. So many problems (my health) and so many family issues. I can't help but think someday I will find my man, but as I age, that hope dwindles. I know that my "Off shoot" of happiness I missed once before, with Michael. Hoping that this "maybe chance" would be a good one. IDK. I know I will hope and pray for someone to love me, and for Jo to find her special one, and Kenna, and Heather, and hope that Jasmine finds someone to treat her like the gem she is.

As I tgype this, my cat lucy is dreaming. I hear her sigh, and wonder what she dreams about. Probably her deams consist of me playing with her, and her playing. IDK what cats dream of.